My name is Jamey, and I'm a game developer.

I've been playing games since I was little more than knee-high to a grasshopper and barely old enough to cheat at Candyland, and I've been making them for nearly as long. Bear in mind, I grew up in a town where the favored pastime consisted of children throwing rocks at each other, so designing something better was less a diversion than a necessity, a hard fact of life - we're talking matters of survival here, people.

In this harsh environment, I found sweet relief in the form of a little game called Dungeons & Dragons. I quickly became the world's most vindictive kindergarten DM, infamously killing off the characters of any players who angered me even slightly. What can I say? With great power comes great responsibility, and sometimes that means teaching your friend Jeffrey a lesson, and the lesson is that you can't expect to steal my favorite cot during nap time and not be consequently attacked by an army of ravenous orcs.

Speaking of ravenous, it was around this same time that I was introduced to a seemingly innocuous grey box known as the Nintendo Entertainment System. If Dungeons & Dragons was my original savior, rescuing me from the mean streets of upstate New York, the NES was my gateway drug into the infinitely harsher realm of video game addiction. But this was the '80s, man - we all thought we were invincible. Before long, I was mixing D&D and Nintendo into a veritable witches' brew of depravity, forcing the people I loved to play my own monstrous Frankenstein-esque abomination known as (wait for it) Super Mario RPG. That's right, Square Enix - you owe me money.

While we're on the subject of idea pilfering - all this hoopla about Serious Games? Feh. Let me tell you about a little game called Civil Disobedience, invented by my father when my mother complained that the games he was teaching me had no redeeming social qualities. To be honest, I don't remember a whole lot about the game itself, although if it was anything like most modern Serious Games, I'll wager it was probably boring as all git out - hoooo yeeeaaaahh, philistine 4 life! Stick that in your fife and smoke it, Serious Games!

	      Blaise Pascal Excusez-moi, young man! Pardon the interruption, but did somebody just say... 'wager'?
Oh, my stars and garters! It's famed 17th century mathematician Blaise Pascal! Jamey
	      Blaise Pascal Making fun of the Serious Games movement is all well and good, but isn't it about time you got around to my part of the story?
By gum, you're right! Now let's see, where was I...? Jamey

Ah yes... the '80s. I was flying high - designing board games, crafting dungeons packed with fiendishly clever traps and pitfalls, and partying 'til dawn at Studio 54. Yet even during those heady, hedonistic days, I couldn't escape the feeling that something was missing - that somewhere, beneath all the decadence and the incessant, controller-shattering bacchanalia, there was a gaping void that still yearned to be sated.

Then I met Blaise.


Blaise was a loner, a rebel who didn't take no guff from nobody, nohow. Even then he had a bad reputation, and was a far cry from the refinement of his object-oriented brethren. But I didn't mind any of that, because Blaise and I had something truly special. It was with Blaise that I created my first computer game, a text adventure in which the player was tasked with escaping from a subterranean military compound. I use the word 'adventure' both loosely and charitably, as the game could be finished in about five minutes. On the plus side, it did have multiple endings, and you could lick practically anything in the environment. I still maintain that no modern game has surpassed its plethora of tongue-centric options.

Time passed, and I eventually bid Blaise a fond farewell and moved on to the wild and wooly world of C - and with it, my first exposure to graphics (using BGI, of all things). My initial foray into horrible programmer art was entitled Cap'n Jamey's Treasure Island, and I can safely state with absolute humility that its "blue rectangles vs. yellow rectangles" premise caused tremors within the very foundation of the gaming world.

You won't find either of these early masterpieces here, but you will find movie clips and information about a few of my other old student projects, as well as fully playable versions of some more recent personal efforts. Please feel free to peruse these using the links provided in the sidebar on the left.

Queen Frostine Um, Jamey?
Queen Frostine? What do you want? Jamey
Queen Frostine Oh, nothing... it's just... well, did you really cheat at Candyland?
None of your business, you saucy strumpet! Jamey