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November 5, 2008 11:58 pm

Greetings, intrepid readers. The date is November the 5th, and you all know what that means - gather round the old campfire of burning Guy Fawkes effigies, and join me for a look into the murky past as we crack open the patented Scotchtoberfest Time Capsule.

Verily, in these tumultuous times, a fond remembrance upon days of yore becalms a weary soul. These are times of great change, not only for our solemn nation of Americæ but indeed, for this website as well. For lo, it is given to me to declare that this space shall be made into a blog, that most foul and loathsome of creations that has laid scourge to mankind since the dawning of the internet.

As if this alone did not constitute a stark enough betrayal of our once proud lethargic traditions, let it furthermore be known that this blog shall be written not from within the United States, but from a fortified bunker inside the belly of the Loch Ness Monster in the obscure, distant realm known as Scotland.

Yet, do not weep for the fallen. As long as we remember those simpler times - times when people named Jamey attended educational conferences, and regaled us all with tales of their daring exploits - that glorious heritage shall live on.

It won't be easy, but I know that we can make it through this together. As we seal the Time Capsule once again, we must put aside this wistful nostalgia and turn our gaze toward the future.

(Groundskeeper Willie Van Gogh image by limpfish)